I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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