I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
