He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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