shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
