____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
