In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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