I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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