She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
