Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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