Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize