After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
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