Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
