Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
