I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Why can't burritos get me drunk
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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