wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So many bounce houses so little time
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
