Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
