Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
