At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
