I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
