My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
