i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize