It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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