It's like God shit irony all over that family
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
