when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
