You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
