I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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