i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I would fuck him just for his dog
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
