I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
