had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
