We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We don't watch enough power rangers
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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