Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
