What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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