Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
