my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
