I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
