I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
