I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
