I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize