so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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