I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We left the knife in your bed.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
