you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
