We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize