I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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