..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Pants are for mortals
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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