i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
