I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
