My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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