Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize