I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
