Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
