this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
