sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
