whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She needs sedatives and a leash
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
