Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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