The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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