i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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