So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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