so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
