Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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